(no subject)
Apr. 28th, 2018 07:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
I'm sad and I'm angry and I don't want to be either, but I'm also bored so it's hard not to be. There's nothing distracting me from my sad or my mad.
I want people to have consequences for their actions, punishment for their bad behavior. I want to still be able to do all the things I was doing but it was broken. I want people to have time for me and make me a priority but the one person who isn't busy and wants to is the person I'm upset with. And I'm not sure I could safely interact with them in a healthy way right now.
It's just not fair. I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so left out and adrift. I was in the center of things and busier than I wanted but I was also essential. And I've been invited to do more -- I could do more -- but I don't want that. That doesn't work for me.
I want people to have consequences for their actions, punishment for their bad behavior. I want to still be able to do all the things I was doing but it was broken. I want people to have time for me and make me a priority but the one person who isn't busy and wants to is the person I'm upset with. And I'm not sure I could safely interact with them in a healthy way right now.
It's just not fair. I didn't do anything wrong but I feel so left out and adrift. I was in the center of things and busier than I wanted but I was also essential. And I've been invited to do more -- I could do more -- but I don't want that. That doesn't work for me.